I understand you so well!!! I am with you.
For me that is probably why I chose Narrative this time around… trying to find a research method that matches my personality better.

And your post reminded me of Jorge Luis Borges and his book – EL hacedor [the maker].

“A man sets out to draw the world. As the years go by, he peoples a space with images of provinces, kingdoms, mountains, bays, ships, islands, fishes, rooms, instruments, stars, horses, and individuals. A short time before he dies, he discovers that the patient labyrinth of lines traces the lineaments of his own face. ”
… it just came to mind… 😉