Sounds interesting! Good thinking so far. My suggestions–all to be taken or left:

1) Rather than cite Meyer and Land in the Research Prob you might consider saying in a clear way what they/you mean by “threshold concepts” so the reader understands what we are talking about a bit earlier

2) Might want to clarify a bit more what the problem is that the research results will “shed light on” It isn’t clear to me. Is it that not enough faculty know how/are able to provide a certain kind of support, hence students “suffer?” (Is it proved that this “suffering” exists?) If faculty does this more/more effectively, what will the positive results be? (might more people finish–like maybe me?–their studies?)
3) Another interesting question might be how the faculty who do this successfully came to know how to do it.
4) I’d like to see less tentative language rather than saying that it seems important to know this–tell me why it is important.
5)What is the TEL or networking learning method?
6) I’m curious about how you will identify those who do this successfully.

Good luck! Keep on keeping on!

Best,
Kiki